In truth, I try to live a balanced life, taking the good with the bad. And when dealing with the dysfunction that sometimes surrounds my life, I try to remain positive. But honestly, when I try to shove the pain and heartache into a dark corner, far, far away from my emotions, I often create an emotional train wreck that can throw my world into turmoil.
Since I am trying to find a healthy balance, I have started taking measures to eat healthier. Recently, I recognized I also need to work on the spiritual and emotional side of life too, especially if I want to find that peaceful existence. Yes, I admit it; I have sought counseling in the past, which has helped tremendously. My counselor taught me to begin creating healthy boundaries to take care of myself. And it has worked, for the most part, until last week.
Life threw a curve ball. Since that time, I have become unsettled and started reverting back to old habits — shutting people out, working a lot of overtime, trying to stay overly busy, and relying on an old companion – food.
Now, the damage hasn’t been too severe. I am down to the weight I was before my Thanksgiving get-away. But, I recognized the signs. Although I am eating keto friendly food, I started binging on pecans and Slim Fast Keto Fat Bombs. And then the quilt and remorse wiggled its way back into my life, so I had to put on the brakes.
I recognized the bump in the road. I am still unsettled over some past hurts. Last year my world turned upside down. With the upcoming anniversary of that event, I became anxious and worried. And while I am working towards a place of forgiveness, peace, and understanding, I am not quite there yet, not fully. And I will not allow anything upset the progress that I have made towards reconcilliation not only with myself but also others in my life. Each day, I am still working on my healing, and finding my place with tribe.
Sometimes the holidays can be tough and stressful. This year I feel as though I have lived my life on one crazy, bumpy roller coaster. To make sure that I take care of myself, I had to make some changes to my holiday plans. This Christmas I decided to find a cozy get away, somewhere I can relax and recharge. I made reservations at a tiny mountain hamlet, a place I haven’t visited for years. My pups and I will stroll a tiny main street blazoned with Christmas lights and window shop along the way. I will sip coffee from my balcony, wrapped in winter gear and blankets and watch the beauty of the mountains that will surround me. This season I need to find a little peace on earth, and I am looking forward to a my quiet Christmas renewal.
May your day be merry and bright! Sending love from the Bright Side!