Battling the Blues

I am so flippn’ joyful that…

For over twenty years now, I have been dealing with chronic pain. It never goes away; I just have different degrees of discomfort.  That’s another reason I want to eat healthier. Losing weight will help with the back pain, and cleaner eating will help ease the inflammation since I also have arthritis throughout my spine. When I chose to go off most of my pain meds, a former neurosurgeon and physical therapist warned I would tire easily without the extra help. However, I didn’t like waking up in a fog each morning after taking the meds. Some days I missed work because the pills made me so sleepy. One day after taking one of my tablets, I felt as though a volcano had erupted and that was the end of that. I do take meds on occasion, for the muscle spasms, and once in a while, I have to take an anti-nausea med when the pain is severe.

Chronic pain is one of the hardest battles I have faced, and I never know when it will flare and bring about additional discomfort. Two weeks ago, I had to go on bedrest for a week, but I thought I was on the mend. But yesterday, whew, yesterday was a rough one. The day started out okay, better than okay.  My keto diet has given me new energy. After I finished my coffee, I did a load of laundry, hung that load out to dry and started another. Since I was running low on groceries, I decided to go to the store.  Halfway through my shopping, the pain hit. It was so severe I couldn’t finish, and I had to find a place to rest. Once I arrived home, I only brought in the items that required refrigeration. After vomiting from the amount of pain, I took a bite of cottage cheese and swallowed my anti-nausea medication. Exhausted, I crawled into bed, and I stayed, even the last load of laundry from yesterday still remains in the washer. My laundry room is in the basement, and I just cannot do the stairs right now.


Depression has become another battle that I face. In the past after daily pain become my new normal, I started taking Zoloft for a time, and I self-medicated my blue days with extra chocolate. Since I could no longer swim, ride a bike, or lift weights, the pounds piled on, and the scales went up and up. But I am working on my depression too, finding ways to help alleviate my tendencies to isolate. So today, I am meeting with a dear friend that also suffers from chronic pain. We both have had a rough couple of weeks, and we decided we need to get out of the house and just laugh. We are going to lunch, and yes, I planned ahead. I already looked at the menu, and I know what I’m having for lunch the grilled pork chop, side salad, and cottage cheese.

I know it sounds cheesy, but one way I have helped combat my depression is having a blessing jar. When I am in pain or when I am feeling depressed, I take out a piece of paper and write down one thing that I am thankful for or something that brings me joy. I fold the little square, so I can place it in my jar. However, before I add the slip of paper, I reach in and grab one of my notes to read. Yesterday’s note made me laugh hard and long, for it simply read, “I am so flippin joyful that I did not take my blessing jar and throw it at the wall because then I would have to clean it up and who has the energy for that!!??” Okay, I had forgotten about that one, and it went back into the jar. It made me smile. Not every day is perfect, but not every day is that bad. Over the years, I have discovered that I am way too hard on myself, and I need to give myself a break. So today, I need to go to lunch with a friend; that’s my first priority, so screw the stairs. The laundry can wait. By now, in this heat, It probably needs to be rewashed anyway!

Hangin’ on and still lookin’ at the bright side!




23 thoughts on “Battling the Blues

  1. Hey lovely. This is an amazing post. Can you please check your settings and make sure that you have pingbacks enabled and the reblog option checked. I would like to share this post on but the reblog option isn’t showing. That may be intentional on your part, but I wanted to make sure since you are new to this. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Ok so based on the kind of site you have, I believe that you have to go to the individual post and open it in editor. Once you are in editor mode, look for the sidebar drop-down called MORE OPTIONS. Expand that and scroll down until you see a box you can check called Allow Pingbacks & Trackbacks. You will want this it will let you see when someone tags your site. So make that that is checked first and I’ll look for the reblog option now…

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Now for the reblog – save and close that post. On the top left corner, you will see rectangle that says My Sites. Click that and then look for the option that says Sharing. Once you click that, look at the top of that page. There are two options – Connections and Sharing Buttons. Pick Sharing Buttons. Personally I would suggest that you add all of those buttons, but that’s your call. Anyhoo make sure that you have the Show Reblog Button box checked. Once you do all that, please let me know. The blogging community is going to open a whole new world for you, and it is amazing when it comes to supporting each other. Allowing people to reblog your posts is a great way to get exposure, and it’s awesome for showing another writer that you appreciate their work and understand what they are saying. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      3. I’m not sure what’s missing. I still am unable to see the social sharing icons. Maybe it will show up on the next post that you put together. No worries. We will try this out another time. 😉

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I can totally relate to your post, having an autoimmune disease has brought me a lot of struggles but it has also made me more aware of my blessings. I loved the jar idea! I should make one too 😊 have a great time with your friend 😉👍

    Liked by 1 person

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